"I don't wanna be a sinner," she looks like she is going to cry."Verse take them," I mutter under my breath. "Come on." I give her a nod of my head for her to follow me and stalk off."Who is that?" Alys asks as she trots after me. I look over my shoulder, to see Camulus is standing and watching me and my charge."Camulus." I say, I am still peeved at him for last night, so I don't elaborate.I can feel his eyes on me the whole way. I can also feel Alys watching him in return. So there is interest in the male species, it is not all dead.I pause for a moment outside our cabin, before I knock. I want to make sure Nimrod is in there."Nim," I call out. "I have a guest for you."I open the door and walk in. I look over to see him sleeping in the rocker, book curled in his hand, body slack with sleep. I motion Alys to sit at the table."Nim," I brush a lock of hair back. "Wake up sleepy head."He gives a mumble and tries to swat my hand."Come on love, we have a guest," I say tenderly into his. You will never go bald. Some women who take it who'velost hair grow some of it back. Most trans women get thicker, glossier,hair and it curls slightly. If you're lucky that might be all you need." What if I don't like it?" I asked"You can just stop," she said. "The only thing that isn't reversible isbreast growth, but it takes months for it to happen. Other effects likeloss of libido happen really quickly and are totally reversible. Hormonereplacement therapy is slow and subtle."I sat very still for a while and looked at the fringe of my dress andcrossed my legs."Is getting it hard?" Not really," she said. "You want to find a clinic that offers somethingcalled 'informed consent.' All you need to do is sign a form and they'llstart giving you estrogen and spironolactone. You just have to ask." I'm scared," I said."It's okay to feel that way," she said. "It's a big decision and cultureis deeply disrespectul and dismissive of feminiity. That's probably whyyou keep doing this in secret.
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